Time to run, chubbies.
It’s nearing the end of winter, and bikini season will soon be upon thee. In celebration of the soon-to-be-but-not-yet end of Winter, this is a compilation of random, extreme, unorthodox, weird and/or sexy weekend warrior pursuits in ode of the body we had last year. No, we’re not going to talk about pole dancing; though awesome, it’s been done.
Of course, like normal people trying to get in shape in time for summer, we’re starting 2 months behind the traditional January 3rd gym rush. We’d like to share with you what keeps us sane [variety], what had us cussing [loudly] and above all, what makes classic look-at-me Facebook content.
Joe Rockheads Indoor Rock Climbing
A classic romantic surprise, we went to Joe’s for Valentines day, surveying hungrily at the other couples soon to be strung up together. We had bets on who would make it past the basic introduction to knots, and like sponsors at The Hunger Games, reveled with mock shock at the demise of tenuous romances and loosely tied figure 8 knots. Snippy little princesses with falsies and eyelashes went first, followed by their shy, browbeaten consorts, while we high-fived at how awesome we were as a team, taking the literal weight of each other’s dizzying plans of wall domination.
Costs: $35 for an intro course, upgrade of $10 for an additional 2-week membership
Comments: Awesome sociological field trip.
Reebok Crossfit Liberty Village
Please, don’t go with anyone other than a person who absolutely loves you. Not for the light-hearted, Crossfit can be extremely fun, and is also a high-intensity torture session. Drill-instructor style, you’re socially pressured into shape by other people who are all slightly more fit than you are. There is a sort of group-think that happens during each WOD [workout of the day] where you’re given challenges by the almighty box god that is your instructor.
For first timers, they go light; 50 Pushups, 50 Pull Ups, 50 squats, 1000m on a rowing machine, and as many burpies as you can do. ALL in 13 minutes. Fun. You also do this after half an hour of pull-ups, which to all inductees seems like the main event. Like an over-excited teenager, you blasted your load too fast.
Cost: Free introductory session, pain included.
Comments: What day do you go on? Not pull-up day.